Just before I found out I was pregnant with our daughter, I snuck into the bathroom after my husband had gone to bed. I closed the door and took a pregnancy test. I wanted to surprise him, but I never thought to film my reaction.
We kept it a secret, as other pregnant people were taught to do, and patiently waited three months before telling family and friends. No one seemed to violate this unspoken rule at the time. Pregnancy tests are a private matter. It’s natural to wait a few weeks before announcing your pregnancy.
That’s why I raised my eyebrows when I first came across the “Take a Pregnancy Test with Me” TikTok video. At first, I was shocked to see someone pee on a test strip (or dip a test strip into a glass of urine) in front of a camera. A moment that I thought was private at the time was now exposed to millions of strangers. But now that my initial reaction has passed, I can’t stop watching pregnancy test reveal videos on TikTok and Instagram.
These videos help break the culturally imposed silence around early pregnancy, which can make some people feel isolated or scared to enter this new chapter, approaching it with more anxiety than excitement. By allowing viewers to experience this intimate moment, these videos normalize the all-too-common mix of emotions that occurs when a pregnancy test is positive, but most people think they have to hide it. Freedom from embarrassment and shame is new and necessary.
And sometimes, making these types of videos can give people a space to talk about the complicated emotions and thoughts behind the joyous announcement of a pregnancy, especially if they’re a same-sex couple or have had a non-traditional pregnancy journey.
For example, on Instagram Reels, user Natalie Book shared her positive pregnancy test after successful IVF, while another woman recorded her reaction to a positive pregnancy test after experiencing two miscarriages.
Not all of these videos have happy endings. Francesa Farago, whose partner is transgender, filmed the couple’s entire IVF journey, including their negative pregnancy tests. By sharing her own heartbreaking story, she hopes to help other couples going through similar experiences feel understood and seen.
Having suffered two miscarriages myself, I expected to feel a little jealous when these women found out they were pregnant, but in reality, I felt a surge of joy experiencing this moment with them. I don’t know how sincere their reactions will be every time, but I don’t necessarily care. Watching every stage of acceptance play out on screen, from shock to happiness to a moment of fear, made me want to reach out and hug the women on the other side of the screen.
I know that one social media trend can’t completely upend all of the sometimes harmful societal expectations surrounding pregnancy, but the reason I watch these videos with so much fondness is because they transform a previously private moment into a statement that whatever emotions we’re feeling while trying to conceive are normal and rational, and we don’t have to deal with it alone.
Looking back, I wish I had filmed my reaction to that first positive pregnancy test and shared that excitement with the world. If I had seen the “Take a Pregnancy Test” video back then, I might have felt braver to speak more openly about my fears about getting pregnant again after my chemical miscarriage. Perhaps I wouldn’t have even tried to hide this big life change from all the people who could have supported me in those early days.
The “take a pregnancy test with me” trend may be breaking the societal norms most of us have accepted about pregnancy, but maybe that’s a good thing: Maybe if we, as parents, were a little more open about the good and bad of our experiences, those around us would feel a little less alone.
